This is my tale. I write.

I can’t believe what I just hold

2010-01-06T11:11:00.003+08:00

Have I been longing to update. This look dead to me, at least. I don't know what have I been up to. Therefore; I've been busy spending most of my holiday times, with my family and relatives. Its yeah, yeah, yeah, 2010 already. New year, new me? Yeaaah right, that's what I've heard, like fifteen million times already. I am trying to achieve whatever goal that I have in my head.

Well, you are looking for the ideal experience and I am looking for the love that can give such an experience. BTW, I crush on someone so badly. Heck, I AM TIRED OF WAITING FOR SOMETHING THAT ISN'T GOING TO HAPPEN JUST REMEMBER WHEN YOU COME BACK I WON'T BE HERE FOR YOU TO HURT ME AGAIN. Bah. I hafto go now. xoxo

What I like.

2009-11-26T17:57:00.005+08:00

One of my favorite dramas of all! :D

It was HECK sweet and cute.

I bust the windows out your car.

2009-11-26T15:45:00.005+08:00

The start is sweet, a common attraction. But, in the end... that's when you have come to realize, that someone who you thought you knew, turned out to be two faces and manipulative! Oh. Such charm. :) I'll make you see. You see you can't just play with people's feelings.

Oh yeah! HAHA! Before I forgot. I really have no idea what to update. I might have a little something to share. Facts. Its true at some point. Girls, you might want to read this. Hahaha. I was like, effing LOL after my friend asked me to read this. So watch out girls.

Jerks are self-centered
One of the big things a Jerk has going for him is that he really doesn’t care about other people. In fact, his focus is almost entirely on his own pleasures, thoughts, and feelings.

Because of this, when he sees something he wants, he goes after it!

When your average “nice guy” sees a hot girl, he might be intimidated. He wants her to like him. He wants approval from her. In short – he cares about what she thinks!

But in addition to that, most guys care about what other’s think too! They worry about a girl rejecting them in front of other people, and what those people will think when they see it happen.

Jerks do not have this problem. They couldn’t care less about what other people are thinking. The Jerk is only focused on getting what he wants.

When you allow yourself to focus on your goals, and set aside fears of judgment from others, this gives you a great deal of focus, and as we all know, focus is KEY to achieving what we desire.
Jerks aren’t afraid to approach women
The single, most important step in getting a woman is walking up to her and talking to her.

So many guys just DON’T DO THIS. They are too shy, or too intimidated by the girl to do so. Instead, they hang back and just stare at her like a big dummy, wishing he could find the balls to meet her.

Jerks don’t hesitate to approach a girl. They’re not worried about whether or not she’s going to like them, because THEY DON’T CARE.

They’re thinking about how hot it’s going to be to make out with her. They’re thinking about how much fun it will be to get her in bed. The LAST thing on their mind is “fear of rejection.”

To a Jerk, if a girl rejects him, there’s something wrong with HER, not him. Nice guys will say “Oh, I’m too ugly, she doesn’t like me.” Jerks will say “That bitch is a total lesbian.”

Just the act of being able to approach a girl and start talking to her puts the Jerk at an advantage, because he’s interacting with the girl, and the “nice guy” isn’t. To the girl, the nice guy doesn’t exist!

That’s why women typically have such low opinions of men, because it’s always the Jerks who are approaching the women while the shy guys sit off in the corner!

Jerks realize it’s not the woman’s job to approach the guy. If you want something, you have to go after it.

So if the Nice Guys were to start walking up and talking to women, they might be surprised to find most women WELCOME their company and really want to meet a good fella to treat them right!
Jerks don’t censor themselves
Part of the reason Jerks come off as fun, interesting, or exciting is because they aren’t worried about offending anybody. They will talk about whatever, joke about whatever, and even broach “sensitive” topics of conversation without a blink of an eye.

Too many “nice guys” hold back when they talk to a girl they like. They NEVER bring up sex. They don’t even joke about it. Heck, they don’t even display any sign they even LIKE the girl.

Because of this, the Nice Guys become the Boring Guys.

The Jerk will come along, make an off-color joke, tell the girl a racy story, and even MAKE FUN of the girl!

He could care less if he offends somebody. To the Jerk, he’s just doing what comes naturally to him. Attitude like this is like a breath of fresh air to many women, because they mistake it as “confidence.”

But the more they are around the Jerk, the more they realize it isn’t confidence at all – its just narcissism, and a complete lack of caring about others.

A nice guy would do well to “loosen up” when first meeting a girl and not try and please her so much, just like the Jerk does. But in the long term, it’s okay to care about what a girl thinks and be on your best behavior. But do this ONLY after you’ve created an attraction with her.
Jerks are honest about what they want.
When a Jerk approaches a woman, he makes no bones about what he’s after. He flirts with her, lusts after her, and tries to convince her to come home and have sex with him.

The girl knows RIGHT AWAY what the Jerk wants, and after he’s made it clear, it is up to her to decide if she wants to give it to him.

If not, the Jerk moves on and finds another girl. If so, then the Jerk takes her by the hand and drags her off.

This type of honesty is actually appreciated by women. In contrast, you have the nice guys who try and fly under the radar by being an asexual “friend.” He hangs out, listens to the girl’s problems, tries to help her when she needs it, and then all of a sudden, he springs the fact on her that he’s deeply in love!

And the girl FREAKS OUT.

The reason for this is that the “nice guy,” in trying to not get rejected quickly by misrepresenting his intentions, has basically built a relationship with the girl based on LIES.

And because of that, the girl has already pegged him as a “friend.”

So when the guy wants to be ?more than friends,? the girl feels betrayed, because she?s become accustomed to thinking of him in a certain way, and now he?s demanding she look at him differently.

(Not surprisingly, shortly after this happens, most girls even stop being ?friends? with the guy!)

Nice guys should make their intentions clear from the start. Flirt with a girl. Let her know you like her and want to date her! If she rejects you, move on until you find a girl who likes what you have to offer.

That’s what the Jerks do, and it works out great for them!
Jerks safeguard their self esteem
All too often, getting rejected from one girl will send a “nice guy” down a spiral of depression. His self esteem will hit rock bottom, and he’ll get depressed and withdraw for the rest of the night.

Jerks don’t suffer from this problem. They safeguard their self-esteem viciously, and don’t allow rejection to get them down.

This is why Jerks are Jerks! Because they will completely IGNORE rejection, and even go so far as to put down and ridicule other people to make themselves feel more important than they are.

This constant guarding of their self esteem allows them to keep pursuing their goals by not allowing them to fall into a funk of depression.

And no matter how you cut it – a guy with high self esteem is always way more attractive to women than a depressed loser.

For the average nice guy, it’s important not to take rejection personally. If a girl isn’t into you, it doesn’t mean you’re not attractive, or cool, or interesting – it just means that girl isn’t right for you!

So you keep looking for one that is, and you don’t stop until you find her.
Rejection can be a hard thing for anyone to deal with. But remember to keep a positive outlook. Instead of seeing it as “losing a girl,” think of it like “I just eliminated a girl who’d have wasted my time if I pursued her.” You don’t need to ridicule or bad mouth others to feel good about yourself like Jerks do, but you should protect your self esteem as viciously as possible, because that will keep you going.

Understand – picking up women is a numbers game. The more women you meet, the more likely it is you’ll get one! Jerks succeed due to their tenacity and ability to play the numbers. Nice guys go for one or two women a night while Jerks hit up 20-30.

xoxo

:)

2009-11-24T12:00:00.003+08:00

This the reason why I love Afgan so much. :) He has a very unique voice and talents.

Eh bah. Buseet. Kerja ku belum pun siap! HAHAHA! Bye. xoxo

Its just me and the owl.

2009-11-22T21:28:00.006+08:00

Some of my girlsssssssssssssssss. Lav yaaaaah bunch! :D

MIA! Its been a while since my last update. I don't know what to update anymore. I was going to update my blog the past few days, but I tolly forgot. SUCKY MUCH. Short-term memory lost and I was pretty much busy and preoccupied. Its been raining, raining and raining. Okay. Aku mau liat New Moon and I so want to see Rob's effing painted abs. SONOTHOT, that was random. Sabar. I guess, I got distracted by something or probably this certain someone. Sigh. Who cares. As long as they are not crossing their limits. :) So yeah. If they do. I know how to handle it. A consequences that they must face. (jahat bunyinya, tapi banar.) I mean it. I so don't want to get up from this bed of mine. Anywaaaaaaaaay, I am not here to talk about that, my November so far has been oh so not a blast. Beat that! Ok. I go kajap lagi pasal aku kan suka liat si Kellan Lutz. :D

Sama atu, I love this BIG TIME. Thanks to you my baby girl Yean. I lavvit. :D

It's been a rude awakening
That all too late I finally see, I see
That it's - My loss, my lonely, my mistake, mine only, mine all, mine!

BAH BYE!

Recent.

2009-11-13T22:56:00.016+08:00

MySpace Playlist at MixPod.com

I've been pretty much occupied the past few days. Heeeeeeeeeeeee. Told you, I have the awesomeness friends ever. I always tend to forget to update this blog! That includes, during my birthday! Let the pictures do all the talking. I'll just post a few pictures saja. Hehe. EH. I just realized, that its Friday, The 13th! Apakan.

November 10th and 11th, 2009;

It was my birthday! Hehe. Celebrating it with my family, its a tradition. Always have. Always will. Talking about that, my family have been planning to surprise me. & failed. HAHA. Boring. I didn't intentionally caught them up, okay! Sorry? Thank you momy and daddy for ze cake. Like it. So my color. Mwah. Then after, Yean, Tammy & Ajrul came over. We went out. Too bad Tammy couldn't make it. I'll see you soon geng. Thank you for the tiny cute cake kamu. Nyums. Yean, baby girl. Thank you for the two daysssssss in a row. Even though, it was nothing big, but having you guys around. Is just about enough.

Thank you, you guys are the BEST. BEST I EVER HAD. My everything. My stars. You guys are like my pillar of support; I can fall back on you at any time. Such an inspirations, you guys are the light of my life. Bah. You know, once I talk, I find it hard to stop. Too much sweetness karang. :p

I love you, Bunda! I will always keep your advices in mind. :)

MY COOLEST AYAH EVER! You rock dad.

& To this aunty of mine, thank you so much for ze lovely dress. You know it!

Mom and Dad, thank you for kidnapping Jensen, for me, on my birthday! (Pecaya kamu tu) HAHA. Indeeeeeeee. Have my wish granted. -_-"

They came over. :)

Yean sama Ajrul, thank you!

Thank you baby girl. Lav yah!

November 7th, 2009; Jerudong. With them. (Sikit saja ah) The rest arah kamu kan. Time well spent. :))

I MISS YOU GUYS ALREADY! Bah. Nuff said. :( xoxo

Here comes the number 19.

2009-11-10T09:16:00.015+08:00

I thanked ALLAH everyday for this life and myself. All of you must have been wondering what's up with the title, what is it about? Okay. I woke up this morning with love! I have turned 19(oh well, happy birthday to me), as of today. So I was depressed about turning 19 because it feels really old to me, most people I know have this attitude that once you turn 20 it's time for you to retire being a teenager, but I decided not to let that get me down because I honestly can't think of one good thing that has happened to me while I was 18. My life totally imploded but now I'm finally in a better position and I feel ready to reclaim my life and make a fresh start and I feel great about turning 19 because I think it will help me on this. Anyway, I think I may as well make the most of my final year of being a teenager so I think I will dress a bit more interestingly.

As I woke up, this morning. With a HUGE smile on my face, obviously. I started to check my phone and then log in to my Facebook account. Phone, to the ones who have text-ed me, thanks a bunch people. YOU PEOPLE ROCK MY WORLD! I am not lying. Facebook, to those people who have greeted me, I would like to thank each and everyone of you for the birthday wish. I appreciate every little things. I wouldn't want to ask for anything more. Having you people, all around. Is just enough to brighten up my day. & Especially to my mom who have text-ed me the most sweetest sayings on my birthday while you're at work (I didn't get the chance to see you this morning, 'cos I was still in bed. He-he. I'll see you in a few more hours saja), yes. I am still your baby girl. :') Even though, your daughter has turned 19. But, inside, I'm still that little girl who you used to fix up her hair and carried her around in your arms. Dad, too. You are the most coolest dad ever. YOU ROCK! I promise to love you all (esp. family and my tightest circle) like there is no end to this. The word thank you, cannot describe the way I'm feeling right now. I talk too much. God.

Okay. I go. I will keep a smile on my face and in my heart even when it hurts today. TENETENET! xoxo

Adrenaline rush.

2009-11-07T15:10:00.004+08:00

ZOMG!!!!!

AKU ISKI! Apakan. I can feel the rush running through my veins. So much for having an adrenaline rush. What the EFF!? COOL IT. Ugh. Fak it! I am actually scared. I'm fighting a war with my examination week. HAHAHAHA. This is the reason why, I am feeling so inappropriate? BAH BYE! ♥♥

Boredom: the desire for desires.

2009-11-06T23:55:00.007+08:00

I am trying to get my sleep, but unfortunately, I couldn't. Oh my dear! I have been spending the whole day at home. *looks around with an innocent look. Mmmmkay. I've been making a list of something. I'll post that one after-wards. I can't wait for Saturday night, 'cause of something something. Come to think of it, I should get some early sleep. :))) I have made about 48 lists of things that I want to do before I DIE, some are maybe impossible. I know. Its my life. Fudge it;

1. Fall deeply in love -- helplessly and unconditionally!

2. go to Venice, Italy
3. say “I love you” sincerely IN PERSON
4. count all the stars
5. reach my goal
6. teach a kid ABC’s and 123’s
7. publish a book
8. go Um-rah and go for Haj'(a must, to fulfill oneself for being a Muslim)
9. know the taste of water
10. successfully bake a cake
11. have a million bux (or thousands at least) under my pillow
12. catch a firefly
13. watch sunrise with a soul-mate.
14. have my eyebrows done
15. kiss under the rain (just like in the movies. LOL)
16. attempt to count the stars with someone I love
17. tour all around the world =]
18. direct a movie
19. plant a tree
20. have a happy family
21. get rid of my sister even for just a week
22. hug him tight
23. do charity work anonymously
24. invent something :D
25. change someone’s life
26. give a random person a hug
27. shop till I drop
28. learn how to ride a bike :D
29. be wasted!
30. smoke pot.. and take COKE kidding!!! :)))
31. know the difference between crunchy and crispy
32. shred a guitar ( \m/ rock on!!! :D )
33. give pride to my family and country
34. have my own clothing line
35. be awake for 200 hours straight :))
36. find Atlantis or spot a UFO
37. have a wish granted
38. ride a jeepney, bus, tricycle, pedicab, LRT, and MRT all in one day
39. own 10000 pairs of shoes
40. get married
41. taste the rain
42. attempt to count the stars with someone I love
43. touch a jellyfish
44. go vegan for a month
45. let go of something I just can’t let go of
46. be the first and last girl for that someone
47. attempt to kidnap Jensen Ackles & Paul Wesley. :8)
48. look up at the sky and hoping to see a constellation

Oh yeah, I've just done watching The Vampire Diaries, episode 7. The story is getting pretty much intense to this point. And I am liking it. Ugh. As soon as it ended! Here comes my curiosity. Strikes again. I can't wait for the very next episode! :((( Enough about that I need to study. Study and study. Exam-struck. How sweet. A few little things, popped out from my head moments ago. I get the ideas from day-dreaming. I get the ideas from being bored. All the time. The only thing is I don't know how the heck am I going to achieve all of them. Life is never boring, actually. People choose it to be bored. Bah. Imma go now. Good-night. Have a very nice sleep you all. xoxo

Look, who is talking!

2009-11-06T09:30:00.002+08:00

Now, this is what I'm talking about! I have deleted all my oldest post back then, I am back on track and oh well I am back. I am up for my blogging. If you're curious of asking the common question "Where the hell have you/she been?". I have you an answers.

Story of my life HAS BEEN QUITE interesting the past few months. Like so right! CORRECT IT. I've been through the 'violently ripped apart and got stabbed with a dull knife'. I know. I don't really think I need to make that one clear. Do I? I stay silent. It's better to be silent than to talk for talking sake. Sometimes just being present is good enough. Hey! I am more happy with my life now than I have ever been. Thank to my family especially my mom who is also my bestest friend in the whole wide universe who has always been there whenever I'm down and hit the bottom, and then here comes the dearest friends of mine (if I ever have to mention your names people, it would take me forever), and you, my knight in a shining armor (it has been like 3 years now, yet you still, holding on). :)) THANK YOU. I miss everyone now.

Okay, I am out. I love you my tightest circle long time. Thank you for accepting me as who I am now.